1 00:00:02,090 --> 00:00:03,490 I'm so glad we could finally do this. 2 00:00:03,491 --> 00:00:05,559 I know, Kylie says you're always stuck at the precinct. 3 00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:08,296 Yeah. 4 00:00:08,297 --> 00:00:09,795 Speaking of, this is work. 5 00:00:09,796 --> 00:00:11,529 Sorry. 6 00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:12,730 What's up, Peralta? 7 00:00:12,731 --> 00:00:14,431 Captain called. He needs everybody back. 8 00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:16,397 There's a lead on the nightingale strangler. 9 00:00:16,398 --> 00:00:19,799 We're looking for a white male, 5'10", medium build, 10 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,000 brown hair, small scar on his right cheek. 11 00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:24,467 Okay. 12 00:00:24,468 --> 00:00:27,867 His M.O. is he finds lonely women with no friends, 13 00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:29,335 poisons their food, 14 00:00:29,336 --> 00:00:30,936 and then guts 'em in his van. 15 00:00:30,937 --> 00:00:32,572 It's pretty gnarly. 16 00:00:32,573 --> 00:00:35,707 Last seen wearing a salmon shirt, grey blazer, 17 00:00:35,708 --> 00:00:37,342 and witnesses have said 18 00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:39,610 he has trouble fitting lettuce in his mouth. 19 00:00:39,644 --> 00:00:41,910 Okay. Where are you? 20 00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,478 Apparently has the world's smallest penis 21 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:44,545 and doesn't know how to use it... 22 00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,013 Hi, there, I'm Jake Peralta, 23 00:00:46,014 --> 00:00:47,713 Amy's boss. That's not true. 24 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,747 What are you doing here? 25 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,315 I'm here on a date. 26 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,115 Who is now leaving. 27 00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:54,350 Worth it. Have a great night. 28 00:00:54,351 --> 00:00:56,351 - Your boss seems really nice. - He's not my boss. 29 00:00:56,352 --> 00:00:57,351 Yes, I am! 30 00:00:57,352 --> 00:01:00,353 Sync and corrections by 00:02:01,363 You got it. 53 00:02:01,397 --> 00:02:02,797 I already got my paperwork in, Captain. 54 00:02:02,831 --> 00:02:05,366 Then I guess this little reminder isn't for you. 55 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,235 Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me. 56 00:02:08,269 --> 00:02:09,536 No, he doesn't. 57 00:02:09,537 --> 00:02:10,771 We have a good relationship. 58 00:02:10,772 --> 00:02:12,072 We're on the same page. 59 00:02:12,106 --> 00:02:14,274 Something to share with the rest of us, Santiago? 60 00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:17,777 No, sir, I wasn't... Peralta was the one that was talking. 61 00:02:17,778 --> 00:02:20,446 God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. 62 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,480 Joke's on you. 63 00:02:21,481 --> 00:02:22,976 I skipped fourth grade. 64 00:02:22,983 --> 00:02:24,283 Santiago, anything else? 65 00:02:24,317 --> 00:02:25,718 No. No? 66 00:02:25,719 --> 00:02:27,319 Uh-uh. 67 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,320 Dismissed. 68 00:02:28,321 --> 00:02:30,622 Hey, Boyle. I know you haven't had Peralta 69 00:02:30,623 --> 00:02:31,790 as a secondary in a while. 70 00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:32,791 Be careful. 71 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:33,925 It can be rough. 72 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,194 Hey, saboteur, that's not true. 73 00:02:36,195 --> 00:02:39,197 I happen to be a very good secondary. 74 00:02:39,231 --> 00:02:41,699 So you were just borrowing those cars? 75 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:44,335 Ask about his bank account. 76 00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:45,470 Ask about his bank account! 77 00:02:45,504 --> 00:02:48,339 Ask him about his bank... 78 00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:49,973 Account. 79 00:02:49,974 --> 00:02:51,407 You should ask him about his bank account. 80 00:02:51,408 --> 00:02:54,610 Captain, Santiago broke the glass. 81 00:02:54,611 --> 00:02:56,045 You can't give up control, 82 00:02:56,046 --> 00:02:58,013 you're terrible at taking your primary's orders, 83 00:02:58,014 --> 00:03:00,015 you just do whatever you want. 84 00:03:00,016 --> 00:03:01,550 I could go on and on and on. 85 00:03:01,584 --> 00:03:03,551 Is something no lover of yours has ever said. 86 00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:04,853 Blammo. 87 00:03:04,854 --> 00:03:06,855 Look, I can be an amazing secondary 88 00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:07,856 and I'll prove it. 89 00:03:07,857 --> 00:03:09,024 I know you will, Jake-in-the-box. 90 00:03:09,025 --> 00:03:10,492 Okay, don't ever call me that again. 91 00:03:10,493 --> 00:03:11,827 I'm driving. We should leave now. 92 00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:13,629 Carry my bag. 93 00:03:13,663 --> 00:03:17,266 But you should pick the music, primary. 94 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:21,303 ♪ Consider yourself part of the furniture ♪ 95 00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:24,773 ♪ There isn't a lot to spare ♪ 96 00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:26,375 ♪ Who cares 97 00:03:26,376 --> 00:03:28,844 ♪ Whatever we've got we share ♪ 98 00:03:30,413 --> 00:03:32,614 It's a great picture, sir. 99 00:03:32,648 --> 00:03:33,681 I hate it. 100 00:03:33,682 --> 00:03:38,219 Me too. 101 00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:40,287 So I have an eyewitness in the purse-snatcher case. 102 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:42,689 Only problem is, the sketch artist is out sick. 103 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,023 How do you want me to proceed? 104 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,092 Figure it out, Santiago. It's your case. 105 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,427 Yes. I will do that. 106 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:50,162 Thank you. 107 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,664 Are you bowing? 108 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,066 No. 109 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,070 This is how I walk. 110 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:00,941 What do you need, Quasimodo? 111 00:04:00,942 --> 00:04:02,242 I gotta go meet with Boyle and Peralta. 112 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,977 Is there something wrong with the Captain? 113 00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:05,411 It seems like he's in a bad mood. 114 00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,080 I don't know. Who can tell? 115 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,216 You all right, Captain? 116 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,250 Tough weekend? 117 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,953 I went to Barbados with my husband. 118 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:16,455 We wove hats out of Palm fronds 119 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,157 and swam with the stingrays. 120 00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:22,060 I've never been happier. 121 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:24,463 Guy's impossible to read. Don't even try. 122 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,998 That is, without question, 123 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,767 the funniest story I've ever heard. 124 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,738 Wow. 125 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,733 This guy must have weighed 500 pounds. 126 00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:36,140 I think we have an idea what killed him. 127 00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:38,375 It was not starvation. 128 00:04:38,409 --> 00:04:40,042 What do we got? 129 00:04:40,043 --> 00:04:41,509 Sorry, sorry. 130 00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:44,011 You're the primary, you're in charge. 131 00:04:44,045 --> 00:04:45,345 Frank Patterson. 132 00:04:45,346 --> 00:04:47,914 58 years old, married, no children. 133 00:04:47,915 --> 00:04:49,882 Wife found him this morning and called it in. 134 00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:52,518 Any signs of forced entry or a struggle? 135 00:04:52,552 --> 00:04:53,552 No. 136 00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:54,552 You sure about that? 137 00:04:54,553 --> 00:04:55,753 Looks like maybe his belt 138 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,474 had a pretty epic struggle with his stomach. 139 00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,622 What are you thinking, Boyle? 140 00:04:59,656 --> 00:05:01,623 All ri... I'm calling natural causes. 141 00:05:01,624 --> 00:05:03,091 We got heart medicine over here, 142 00:05:03,092 --> 00:05:04,758 home defibrillator. 143 00:05:04,759 --> 00:05:06,326 And a frequent customer gift basket 144 00:05:06,327 --> 00:05:08,162 from the cardiac wing of Brooklyn Methodist. 145 00:05:08,196 --> 00:05:09,563 This case is open and shut. 146 00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:12,400 Just like his mouth was, constantly. 147 00:05:12,401 --> 00:05:13,968 That was my last fat joke. 148 00:05:13,969 --> 00:05:15,203 Okay? 149 00:05:15,204 --> 00:05:16,237 Diaz, check and see if there's 150 00:05:16,238 --> 00:05:17,371 any more meds in the bathroom. 151 00:05:17,372 --> 00:05:18,706 Boyle, see what you can find in the bedroom. 152 00:05:18,707 --> 00:05:21,676 I'll take the kitchen. 153 00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:24,045 Yep, that's exactly what I was gonna say. 154 00:05:24,046 --> 00:05:25,079 It's... it's so weird. 155 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,180 He's so good at knowing 156 00:05:26,181 --> 00:05:27,315 what I'm gonna tell him to do, 157 00:05:27,316 --> 00:05:31,486 he just does it. It's weird. 158 00:05:32,821 --> 00:05:34,088 Hey, sergeant. 159 00:05:34,089 --> 00:05:36,090 You know how you're really good at doodling? 160 00:05:36,124 --> 00:05:38,292 I know you think you're complimenting me, 161 00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:40,661 but calling them doodles is an insult. 162 00:05:40,696 --> 00:05:43,064 You a big fan of Picasso's doodles? 163 00:05:43,098 --> 00:05:44,832 Sorry. 164 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:46,200 Can you please draw a perp for me? 165 00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:47,402 The sketch artist is out sick 166 00:05:47,403 --> 00:05:49,037 and the Captain wants this done right away. 167 00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:50,172 He's in a bad mood. 168 00:05:50,173 --> 00:05:51,206 Is he? 169 00:05:51,207 --> 00:05:53,508 I can never read him. 170 00:05:53,509 --> 00:05:55,043 You look chipper, Captain. 171 00:05:55,044 --> 00:05:56,043 You have a fun weekend? 172 00:05:56,078 --> 00:05:58,112 There was a small fire in my home. 173 00:05:58,113 --> 00:06:02,153 I lost many photo albums of treasured memories. 174 00:06:02,184 --> 00:06:03,685 I'm devastated. 175 00:06:03,686 --> 00:06:05,219 I'm telling you, 176 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,387 he and I have a connection 177 00:06:06,388 --> 00:06:07,922 and there is something bothering him. 178 00:06:07,923 --> 00:06:09,890 Can you help me out? 179 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,625 Great. 180 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,127 Ma'am, can you please describe the perp 181 00:06:13,128 --> 00:06:14,395 to sergeant Jeffords? 182 00:06:14,396 --> 00:06:16,831 Yeah, he had, um, dark, curly hair, 183 00:06:16,832 --> 00:06:18,132 and a neck tattoo... 184 00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:19,400 Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. 185 00:06:19,434 --> 00:06:21,803 Let's start with the eyes. 186 00:06:21,804 --> 00:06:24,338 Were they desperate? Lonely? 187 00:06:24,339 --> 00:06:25,473 Did they betray heartache? 188 00:06:25,507 --> 00:06:26,974 They were brown. 189 00:06:27,008 --> 00:06:30,010 Do you even want your purse back? 190 00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:34,148 So far you've managed to tell three fat jokes 191 00:06:34,149 --> 00:06:35,649 and completely bulldoze Charles. 192 00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:37,284 Is that your idea of being a good secondary? 193 00:06:37,318 --> 00:06:39,286 First off, I've told four. 194 00:06:39,287 --> 00:06:40,921 And second, I'm helping. 195 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:43,123 I mean, I started cataloguing the contents of the fridge, 196 00:06:43,124 --> 00:06:44,658 but it turns out there's not enough paper on earth. 197 00:06:44,659 --> 00:06:46,360 Five fat jokes. 198 00:06:46,361 --> 00:06:47,395 Thanks, Arnie. 199 00:06:47,396 --> 00:06:48,564 See, Arnie thinks I'm doing great. 200 00:06:48,598 --> 00:06:49,665 Arnie, shut up. 201 00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:52,734 Jake, for once, just hang back 202 00:06:52,735 --> 00:06:54,670 and let Boyle do his job. 203 00:06:54,704 --> 00:06:56,338 Fine. 204 00:06:56,339 --> 00:06:58,741 Unless I get a direct order from Boyle 205 00:06:58,742 --> 00:07:00,509 I will stand here motionless 206 00:07:00,510 --> 00:07:03,646 like a wise, old oak tree. 207 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,315 You look like an idiot. 208 00:07:06,316 --> 00:07:09,084 I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Patterson. 209 00:07:09,085 --> 00:07:11,353 Can you talk about what happened after breakfast? 210 00:07:11,354 --> 00:07:12,654 I took the dog for a walk. 211 00:07:12,655 --> 00:07:14,389 When I came back, he was dead. 212 00:07:14,423 --> 00:07:15,935 I'm just in shock. 213 00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:18,194 We were going on a cruise together next week. 214 00:07:18,195 --> 00:07:21,066 He had pre-purchased the unlimited soda package. 215 00:07:21,098 --> 00:07:23,499 I'm sure the soft drink industry mourns his passing. 216 00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:31,807 Motion reactivated. 217 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,376 Hey. 218 00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:34,610 Detective Jake Peralta. 219 00:07:34,645 --> 00:07:36,713 Dr. Rossi. I'm the new medical examiner. 220 00:07:36,714 --> 00:07:37,781 Don't let me get in your way. 221 00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:38,942 I'm sure you have a lot to do. 222 00:07:38,949 --> 00:07:40,617 Actually, I've been given a direct order 223 00:07:40,618 --> 00:07:42,552 to do nothing, so. 224 00:07:42,553 --> 00:07:44,321 What brings you here... 225 00:07:44,322 --> 00:07:46,823 Okay. All right. 226 00:07:46,824 --> 00:07:48,391 Sorry. Sorry. 227 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:52,429 - You all right? - What's up? 228 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,102 How's the Patterson case looking? 229 00:07:57,135 --> 00:07:58,702 It looks like natural causes, 230 00:07:58,703 --> 00:07:59,903 but I'll know for sure once I get 231 00:07:59,904 --> 00:08:01,305 the autopsy results tomorrow. 232 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,807 Jake volunteered to follow up with the M.E. 233 00:08:03,808 --> 00:08:05,376 My man is all over it. 234 00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,862 I'm really glad you could sneak away from your case. 235 00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:10,881 Well, it's technically not really my case, 236 00:08:10,915 --> 00:08:14,518 but on the plus side, I have all the time in the world. 237 00:08:14,552 --> 00:08:16,086 - Oh. - To you. 238 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,155 And to the ginormous, dead fat man 239 00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,857 who brought us together. 240 00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:27,987 Hey, Jake. 241 00:08:27,988 --> 00:08:29,054 Have you heard anything from the M.E.? 242 00:08:29,055 --> 00:08:30,489 She hasn't sent the autopsy report. 243 00:08:30,524 --> 00:08:31,924 Oh, that's strange. 244 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,659 Maybe probably a bunch more people died 245 00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:34,960 and she got super busy? 246 00:08:34,961 --> 00:08:36,028 That's definitely what happened. 247 00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:38,097 Okay, just let me know when she calls. 248 00:08:38,098 --> 00:08:39,698 You got it. 249 00:08:41,401 --> 00:08:43,068 Hey, can I ask you guys something? 250 00:08:43,102 --> 00:08:44,102 Can you keep a secret? 251 00:08:44,103 --> 00:08:45,403 Do you know anything about my life? 252 00:08:45,404 --> 00:08:46,604 No, I do not. Good point. 253 00:08:46,605 --> 00:08:48,506 Okay, so you know the new medical examiner? 254 00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:50,575 I kinda had sex with her last night. 255 00:08:50,576 --> 00:08:52,243 What? 256 00:08:52,244 --> 00:08:54,111 Oh, sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. 257 00:08:54,112 --> 00:08:56,113 Sex is something that two adults do with their bodies 258 00:08:56,114 --> 00:08:57,481 when they're attracted to each other. 259 00:08:57,482 --> 00:08:59,162 He's right, Santiago. Do you not know that? 260 00:08:59,184 --> 00:09:01,986 I meant, what were you thinking? 261 00:09:01,987 --> 00:09:03,687 She was supposed to be doing an autopsy 262 00:09:03,688 --> 00:09:05,456 for your primary, Charles. 263 00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:06,757 The guy died of natural causes. 264 00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:07,858 What's the big deal? 265 00:09:07,859 --> 00:09:09,226 Anyways, back to last night. 266 00:09:09,227 --> 00:09:10,828 As you would imagine, I'm normally up 267 00:09:10,829 --> 00:09:12,463 for pretty much anything in the bedroom, 268 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:15,865 but I can't tell if what happened was weird or sexy. 269 00:09:15,899 --> 00:09:17,934 Wait. Close your eyes. 270 00:09:17,935 --> 00:09:22,405 Oh, okay. 271 00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:23,406 Shh. 272 00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:26,375 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 273 00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:27,476 What are you doing? 274 00:09:27,511 --> 00:09:29,812 I like 'em cold. 275 00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:31,214 Okay... 276 00:09:31,215 --> 00:09:32,215 Not that weird. 277 00:09:32,216 --> 00:09:33,716 Cold? Like a dead guy? 278 00:09:33,717 --> 00:09:34,884 You're reading into that. 279 00:09:34,885 --> 00:09:36,085 Am I? 280 00:09:36,086 --> 00:09:37,987 You have a really nice chest. 281 00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:39,322 Thank you. 282 00:09:39,323 --> 00:09:40,756 I'd love to crack it open 283 00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:43,092 and get my hands all over your organs. 284 00:09:43,093 --> 00:09:44,527 Okay... 285 00:09:44,528 --> 00:09:45,761 I wonder how much your appendix weighs. 286 00:09:45,796 --> 00:09:47,730 Oh. 287 00:09:47,765 --> 00:09:49,065 It's inflamed. 288 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,266 All right. 289 00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:51,401 Wait, that's bad, right? 290 00:09:51,402 --> 00:09:53,069 - Yeah, it is. - Oh, no. 291 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,270 Ew! 292 00:09:54,271 --> 00:09:55,805 Please tell me you ran out of there. 293 00:09:55,839 --> 00:09:57,840 No. 294 00:09:57,841 --> 00:10:00,776 For some reason I kinda started getting into it. 295 00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:03,146 Oh, what do we have here? 296 00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:06,482 A 34-year-old caucasian male who is dead. 297 00:10:06,483 --> 00:10:07,483 Very dead. 298 00:10:07,484 --> 00:10:08,551 Mmm. 299 00:10:08,552 --> 00:10:09,686 Cause of death? 300 00:10:09,687 --> 00:10:12,588 Blunt force trauma. 301 00:10:12,589 --> 00:10:15,058 But what do I find when I probe a little farther? 302 00:10:15,059 --> 00:10:16,559 Bruising around the neck. 303 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,062 And ocean water in the lungs. 304 00:10:19,063 --> 00:10:21,431 Ooh, how long have you been dead, body? 305 00:10:21,432 --> 00:10:22,498 Four days. 306 00:10:22,499 --> 00:10:24,067 Gross. Bloating. Odors. 307 00:10:24,068 --> 00:10:26,503 Oh, uh, 24 hours. 308 00:10:26,504 --> 00:10:28,538 Perfect. 309 00:10:28,539 --> 00:10:30,306 Here we go. 310 00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:32,775 Stop, stop, stop! Weird, weird, weird! 311 00:10:32,776 --> 00:10:34,610 Rosa, what's your call? Weird or sexy? 312 00:10:34,644 --> 00:10:35,644 Weird. 313 00:10:35,645 --> 00:10:36,878 I knew it. 314 00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:39,181 - But also kinda sexy? - No. Weird. 315 00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:40,816 But more importantly, that's what you were doing 316 00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:42,217 while Charles was grinding through paperwork? 317 00:10:42,251 --> 00:10:43,719 Told ya. 318 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:44,886 Worst secondary in the unit. 319 00:10:44,921 --> 00:10:46,455 What do you guys want from me? 320 00:10:46,456 --> 00:10:48,356 You know, I take over a crime scene, I'm a bad secondary. 321 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,159 I blow off work to have sex with a hot coroner, 322 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,326 I'm a bad secondary. 323 00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:52,327 I can't win. 324 00:10:52,328 --> 00:10:53,328 What are you guys talking about? 325 00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:54,730 Um, just weird sex stuff 326 00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:55,964 that has nothing to do with work. 327 00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:58,032 I once had sex on a futon. 328 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:01,268 And it was in couch mode. 329 00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:03,270 Hmm. 330 00:11:06,474 --> 00:11:08,342 Sarge, all of these are fine. 331 00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:09,643 How much longer are you gonna work on this? 332 00:11:09,644 --> 00:11:11,212 It's questions like that 333 00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:13,180 that made Van Gogh cut off his ear. 334 00:11:13,181 --> 00:11:16,117 You can't put a clock on art. 335 00:11:16,151 --> 00:11:17,619 Ten minutes. 336 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:18,620 Great. 337 00:11:18,621 --> 00:11:19,654 Let's catch this guy 338 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:20,888 so we can give Holt some good news. 339 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,056 I wanna cheer him up. 340 00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,591 Well, how do you even know he's in a bad mood? 341 00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:25,860 I mean, it's impossible to read that guy. 342 00:11:25,861 --> 00:11:28,529 This is the most incompetent, worthless report 343 00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:30,464 I have ever read in my life! 344 00:11:30,499 --> 00:11:32,934 Get your act together or, so help me God, 345 00:11:32,935 --> 00:11:35,536 you won't live to see retirement! 346 00:11:35,537 --> 00:11:37,738 It's like, "what's that guy thinking?" 347 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,739 You know? 348 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,141 I can read him. 349 00:11:40,142 --> 00:11:41,208 And if anyone can figure out 350 00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:43,144 what's bothering him, it's me. 351 00:11:43,145 --> 00:11:45,079 He and I are exactly the same. 352 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,348 Except that I'm younger, Cuban, 353 00:11:47,349 --> 00:11:48,716 female, single, and straight. 354 00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:51,319 Captain Holt's not gay. 355 00:11:51,353 --> 00:11:52,353 Captain Holt's gay? 356 00:11:52,354 --> 00:11:55,357 Seriously, man, just retire. 357 00:11:57,026 --> 00:11:59,260 Boyle, where's my paperwork on that DOA? 358 00:11:59,295 --> 00:12:00,628 Still waiting on the autopsy report. 359 00:12:00,629 --> 00:12:01,897 Supposed to come in first thing this morning, 360 00:12:01,898 --> 00:12:04,299 - but so far, nothing. - This is unacceptable. 361 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:06,201 I'll call the M.E. and find out what happened. 362 00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:08,704 Eh, bup-bup-bup-bup-bah. 363 00:12:08,738 --> 00:12:10,405 That's not necessary, sir. 364 00:12:10,406 --> 00:12:12,841 For the record, I think it's natural causes anyway, 365 00:12:12,842 --> 00:12:14,843 but I'm also the secondary in this case. 366 00:12:14,877 --> 00:12:17,111 It's my responsibility, so I will head on down there 367 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,112 and pick up the report. 368 00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,314 Good. 369 00:12:19,315 --> 00:12:20,815 But don't ever bup-bup-bup-bup me again. 370 00:12:20,816 --> 00:12:21,816 Right, I don't know... 371 00:12:21,851 --> 00:12:24,185 Bup-bup-bup-bup... Bup-bup-bup. 372 00:12:24,186 --> 00:12:25,587 Just go. 373 00:12:25,588 --> 00:12:28,356 Yep, I am going to regret teaching him that one. 374 00:12:30,359 --> 00:12:31,693 Rosa, can I show you something? 375 00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:32,928 What's up? 376 00:12:32,929 --> 00:12:34,463 Patterson's wife told me 377 00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:36,565 that they were going on a cruise together next month, 378 00:12:36,566 --> 00:12:38,933 but her credit card bill shows only one ticket booked. 379 00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:42,570 Either she's lying or she knew he was gonna die. 380 00:12:42,604 --> 00:12:44,906 Huh, nice find, Boyle. 381 00:12:44,907 --> 00:12:46,407 This could be a murder. 382 00:12:46,408 --> 00:12:47,742 Where's that autopsy? 383 00:12:47,743 --> 00:12:49,477 Jake went down to the M.E. an hour and a half ago. 384 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,878 He still hasn't got back to me. 385 00:12:50,913 --> 00:12:52,413 Jake went to get the autopsy report? 386 00:12:52,414 --> 00:12:54,816 I know. Isn't he the best? 387 00:12:54,817 --> 00:12:57,185 I mean, he's really coming into his own as a secondary. 388 00:12:57,219 --> 00:12:59,121 I wanna get him a thank you present. 389 00:12:59,122 --> 00:13:00,889 Does he come across more as a Pinot guy 390 00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,090 or more of a Shiraz? 391 00:13:02,124 --> 00:13:03,291 You know what? 392 00:13:03,292 --> 00:13:04,359 We better go down there. 393 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,694 See what's holding him up. 394 00:13:05,695 --> 00:13:08,163 Good call. 395 00:13:10,032 --> 00:13:11,633 Detectives. 396 00:13:11,634 --> 00:13:12,634 Hello. 397 00:13:12,635 --> 00:13:14,002 Shirt's buttoned wrong. 398 00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:16,872 Huh. So it is. 399 00:13:16,873 --> 00:13:17,973 Well, how can I help you? 400 00:13:17,974 --> 00:13:19,841 Uh, we came by to get that autopsy report. 401 00:13:19,876 --> 00:13:21,943 - Hmm. - Is Detective Peralta here? 402 00:13:21,944 --> 00:13:23,512 I haven't seen him. 403 00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:24,680 Thanks for coming by. 404 00:13:25,682 --> 00:13:29,785 Hold on. 405 00:13:29,786 --> 00:13:31,419 Found him. 406 00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:33,621 Ah, thank goodness you're here. 407 00:13:33,622 --> 00:13:35,857 I am so lost. 408 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,393 Do you know where the vending machines are? 409 00:13:41,474 --> 00:13:42,474 Look, it's not what it seems like. 410 00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:43,575 Yes, it is. 411 00:13:43,576 --> 00:13:44,676 Yes, it is. Here's what happened. 412 00:13:44,677 --> 00:13:46,578 I came down here to get the autopsy report 413 00:13:46,579 --> 00:13:49,013 and in conclusion, here we are. 414 00:13:49,014 --> 00:13:50,215 Now if you'll excuse me... 415 00:13:50,249 --> 00:13:51,483 Cut the crap, Peralta. 416 00:13:51,484 --> 00:13:53,685 Look, I'm sorry I slowed down the autopsy results, 417 00:13:53,686 --> 00:13:55,386 but everyone knows it's natural causes. 418 00:13:55,421 --> 00:13:57,188 Not anymore. We think it could be a murder. 419 00:13:57,222 --> 00:13:58,322 Wait, like a murder murder, 420 00:13:58,323 --> 00:13:59,724 or, like, his mouth murdered him 421 00:13:59,725 --> 00:14:00,725 by making him eat so much food 422 00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:01,726 that his heart exploded? 423 00:14:01,727 --> 00:14:02,727 Murder murder. 424 00:14:02,728 --> 00:14:04,677 We need the autopsy to be sure. 425 00:14:04,696 --> 00:14:05,897 I have not gotten to that yet. 426 00:14:05,931 --> 00:14:07,699 You guys have been down here for two hours. 427 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,968 What, did you have sex 40 times? 428 00:14:10,002 --> 00:14:11,235 40 times? 429 00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,437 No, Charles, like... 430 00:14:12,438 --> 00:14:13,571 Look, I'm sorry. 431 00:14:13,572 --> 00:14:14,772 We didn't know it was a homicide. 432 00:14:14,806 --> 00:14:16,007 Well, it shouldn't matter. 433 00:14:16,008 --> 00:14:17,708 I'm your primary and I asked you to do something. 434 00:14:17,709 --> 00:14:20,277 So if it's okay, I'd like to be upset with you. 435 00:14:20,312 --> 00:14:21,612 It's more than okay. 436 00:14:21,613 --> 00:14:22,947 It's okay times two. 437 00:14:22,981 --> 00:14:24,548 Now, Dr. Rossi, 438 00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:27,325 will you please perform the autopsy for us right now? 439 00:14:27,352 --> 00:14:29,019 Actually, with a body this size, 440 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:30,187 I'd need my assistant, 441 00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:32,423 and I gave him the rest of the afternoon off 442 00:14:32,424 --> 00:14:33,424 when Jake showed up. 443 00:14:33,425 --> 00:14:35,374 Guilty. 444 00:14:35,393 --> 00:14:36,994 Okay, fine. 445 00:14:36,995 --> 00:14:39,363 I will act as your assistant 446 00:14:39,364 --> 00:14:42,065 because I am a wonderful secondary. 447 00:14:42,066 --> 00:14:43,667 How gross could it be? 448 00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:45,002 Just gonna need you to hold open 449 00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:46,937 this chest cavity for me. 450 00:14:46,972 --> 00:14:48,972 Oh. Wow. 451 00:14:48,973 --> 00:14:51,275 Okay, I can do that. It's no big deal. 452 00:14:51,276 --> 00:14:53,877 Just like holding open some slimy elevator doors. 453 00:14:53,912 --> 00:14:56,913 For a family of aliens... Oh, my God. 454 00:14:56,948 --> 00:15:00,017 Yep, there are some signs of stress on the heart, 455 00:15:00,018 --> 00:15:01,252 but that's not surprising. 456 00:15:01,253 --> 00:15:03,888 Oh, will you look at that stomach lining? 457 00:15:03,889 --> 00:15:05,156 God, that is just a beaut. 458 00:15:05,157 --> 00:15:06,658 Ugh. 459 00:15:06,692 --> 00:15:07,692 All right. 460 00:15:07,693 --> 00:15:08,693 I'm gonna need you to go ahead 461 00:15:08,694 --> 00:15:09,694 and take your hand... 462 00:15:10,696 --> 00:15:12,163 Yep, get it down there. 463 00:15:12,164 --> 00:15:13,231 Get it down there. 464 00:15:13,232 --> 00:15:14,232 Get it on in. 465 00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,566 There you go. 466 00:15:15,567 --> 00:15:16,701 Oh, that is so big. 467 00:15:18,437 --> 00:15:20,572 - Caught him? - Yes, sir. 468 00:15:20,606 --> 00:15:21,740 He was easy to pick up. 469 00:15:21,741 --> 00:15:23,809 He looked just like the sergeant's sketch. 470 00:15:23,844 --> 00:15:25,478 You could be a professional artist, boss. 471 00:15:25,512 --> 00:15:26,946 Like on the boardwalk. 472 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,515 You think I should draw caricatures? 473 00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:30,817 That's garbage art! 474 00:15:30,818 --> 00:15:33,186 I don't draw giant-head people on surfboards! 475 00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:36,088 I'm saying you could. You're that good. 476 00:15:36,122 --> 00:15:38,257 Captain, the credit really goes to sergeant Jeffords. 477 00:15:38,258 --> 00:15:40,459 Without his refined artistic skills... 478 00:15:40,493 --> 00:15:41,826 Finish the paperwork by noon. 479 00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:45,297 I want it included in the crime stats. 480 00:15:45,331 --> 00:15:46,898 I gotta say, I always hate how I look in pictures, 481 00:15:46,899 --> 00:15:48,400 but that is so flattering. 482 00:15:48,401 --> 00:15:49,969 Also, I'm innocent. 483 00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:50,970 You got the wrong guy. 484 00:15:50,971 --> 00:15:52,105 Shut up. 485 00:15:52,106 --> 00:15:54,674 Sarge, I need you to do one more drawing for me. 486 00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:55,842 What? 487 00:16:00,248 --> 00:16:01,615 It'll cheer the Captain up. 488 00:16:01,616 --> 00:16:03,016 He'll be over the moon. 489 00:16:03,017 --> 00:16:05,018 He may even lean back in his chair a little 490 00:16:05,019 --> 00:16:06,220 and nod slightly. 491 00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:07,488 This is a lot of pressure. 492 00:16:07,489 --> 00:16:10,524 If I'm gonna do this, it has to be done right. 493 00:16:10,559 --> 00:16:14,695 Scully, get me my oils. 494 00:16:14,729 --> 00:16:17,998 Paint or massage? 495 00:16:18,032 --> 00:16:19,665 I'll get both. 496 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,767 You know, this is one of the most unhealthy people 497 00:16:21,768 --> 00:16:22,834 I've ever seen. 498 00:16:22,835 --> 00:16:23,835 It's like cutting 499 00:16:23,836 --> 00:16:26,637 into a big, overstuffed ravioli. 500 00:16:26,671 --> 00:16:27,905 Sure you want me to keep digging? 501 00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:30,140 Unfortunately, yes. 502 00:16:30,141 --> 00:16:32,175 If the primary on this case says it's a murder, 503 00:16:32,176 --> 00:16:33,409 we have to treat it like a murder. 504 00:16:33,443 --> 00:16:35,945 Okay. Here we go. 505 00:16:35,946 --> 00:16:36,946 Oh. 506 00:16:36,947 --> 00:16:37,947 Wanna see something cool? 507 00:16:37,948 --> 00:16:38,948 No. 508 00:16:38,949 --> 00:16:39,949 Here it is. 509 00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:41,110 That's what I'm talking about. 510 00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:43,919 Listen. 511 00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:45,354 Goosh. 512 00:16:45,355 --> 00:16:46,656 Mm-hmm. 513 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,124 You know what that was? 514 00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:51,962 That was the air releasing from the large intestine. 515 00:16:51,963 --> 00:16:53,763 In the biz, we call that 516 00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,398 "the death bubble." It's pretty cool. 517 00:16:55,399 --> 00:16:57,333 - Here, you wanna hold it? - No! 518 00:16:58,802 --> 00:17:00,103 Knock knock. 519 00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:01,438 You can knock with your hands. 520 00:17:01,439 --> 00:17:02,705 Saying it is ridiculous. 521 00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:04,606 Okay. 522 00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:08,509 Well, I know you're having a bad day... 523 00:17:08,543 --> 00:17:11,277 I think you're having a bad day. 524 00:17:11,278 --> 00:17:15,880 So, to cheer you up I had Terry do this painting 525 00:17:15,881 --> 00:17:17,849 to replace the photo you hated. 526 00:17:17,883 --> 00:17:21,152 I threw away the photo because I think it's ostentatious 527 00:17:21,153 --> 00:17:22,620 to hang pictures of yourself. 528 00:17:22,621 --> 00:17:25,390 Especially when you haven't earned a place on the wall. 529 00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:27,792 - Oh. - But you would have me 530 00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:29,427 hang a baroque oil painting of myself 531 00:17:29,428 --> 00:17:31,050 like I'm a north Korean dictator. 532 00:17:31,063 --> 00:17:33,231 What? No ornate gold frame? 533 00:17:33,232 --> 00:17:37,068 Why am I not astride my noble steed, clad in armor? 534 00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:39,704 We could add a horse. 535 00:17:39,739 --> 00:17:41,740 You just wasted your time, Terry's time, 536 00:17:41,741 --> 00:17:42,941 and now my time on this 537 00:17:42,975 --> 00:17:44,075 when you should have been filing a report 538 00:17:44,076 --> 00:17:45,210 on the purse-snatcher. 539 00:17:45,244 --> 00:17:46,478 Oh, I did. 540 00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:47,560 It's already in the system. 541 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,047 - Oh. - Mm-hmm. 542 00:17:49,048 --> 00:17:51,015 Good. 543 00:17:51,016 --> 00:17:54,018 Thank you. Dismissed. 544 00:17:55,787 --> 00:17:58,122 Here are the contents of his stomach. 545 00:17:58,123 --> 00:17:59,857 Oh, that's where they went. 546 00:17:59,858 --> 00:18:01,158 And here's the really cool part. 547 00:18:01,159 --> 00:18:03,708 Get in here, look at the scarring on this liver. 548 00:18:03,728 --> 00:18:06,163 Poison. 549 00:18:06,164 --> 00:18:08,232 Ingested. 550 00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:11,803 Boyle was right. 551 00:18:11,804 --> 00:18:13,037 All right, I'm gonna go tell him. 552 00:18:13,038 --> 00:18:15,373 Yeah, you could. 553 00:18:15,407 --> 00:18:18,309 Or you could stay for a post-mortem. 554 00:18:18,343 --> 00:18:20,144 Nope. Sorry. 555 00:18:20,145 --> 00:18:21,279 The spell has worn off. 556 00:18:21,313 --> 00:18:23,481 No more weird dead guy sex for me ever again. 557 00:18:23,515 --> 00:18:24,548 It's nothing personal, 558 00:18:24,549 --> 00:18:26,817 I just think sex is for the living. 559 00:18:26,851 --> 00:18:27,851 Isn't that right, buddy? 560 00:18:27,852 --> 00:18:29,286 Oh, my God, he has no eyes! 561 00:18:29,287 --> 00:18:30,721 Oh, that is terrifying. 562 00:18:37,212 --> 00:18:38,612 What now, Santiago? 563 00:18:38,647 --> 00:18:40,515 I figured out why you've been so tense. 564 00:18:40,549 --> 00:18:42,783 You're worried about the monthly crime statistics. 565 00:18:42,818 --> 00:18:45,119 That's not your concern. 566 00:18:45,153 --> 00:18:46,954 I just checked the stats myself. 567 00:18:46,955 --> 00:18:49,490 Our arrest numbers haven't improved since you got here. 568 00:18:49,491 --> 00:18:51,226 They're exactly the same as last month. 569 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,862 If this is your strategy to cheer me up, 570 00:18:52,863 --> 00:18:53,929 it's backfiring. 571 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,364 Sir, I don't think you realize 572 00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:57,233 how good flat numbers are. 573 00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:59,068 I went back 12 years. 574 00:18:59,069 --> 00:19:01,104 A precinct's numbers almost always get worse 575 00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:03,239 under new leadership, but ours didn't. 576 00:19:03,273 --> 00:19:05,141 That's a win. 577 00:19:05,175 --> 00:19:06,576 It's just your first month. 578 00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:09,244 Morale is much higher, people are working harder, 579 00:19:09,279 --> 00:19:10,279 you're well on your way 580 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,847 to earning a place on that wall. 581 00:19:11,881 --> 00:19:15,317 Thank you, Santiago. 582 00:19:15,352 --> 00:19:18,387 You know, we're birds of a feather, you and I. 583 00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:19,422 I hate cliches. 584 00:19:19,456 --> 00:19:23,826 Cliches are the worst. Okay. 585 00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:34,236 We know you killed your husband. 586 00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:36,038 That cruise you planned was for one, 587 00:19:36,039 --> 00:19:38,274 plus the autopsy showed clear signs of poison. 588 00:19:38,308 --> 00:19:39,975 And for the record, the inside of his body 589 00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:41,977 - was very gross. - Noted. 590 00:19:41,978 --> 00:19:43,913 My only question is, why'd you do it? 591 00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:46,516 Um, he drove me to it. 592 00:19:46,517 --> 00:19:48,017 He had affair after affair. 593 00:19:48,018 --> 00:19:49,552 He was a real don Juan. 594 00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:51,588 Permission to make a fat joke? Granted. 595 00:19:51,589 --> 00:19:52,989 Are you sure you didn't mean "don flan"? 596 00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:54,924 Thanks. Nice. 597 00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:55,959 Mrs. Patterson, you are under arrest 598 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,729 for the murder of your husband. 599 00:19:59,764 --> 00:20:01,598 Sarge, that painting is tight. 600 00:20:01,632 --> 00:20:02,632 It's terrible. 601 00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:04,367 The brushwork is sloppy. 602 00:20:04,402 --> 00:20:05,769 There's poor use of negative space. 603 00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:06,970 I'm a fraud. 604 00:20:07,004 --> 00:20:09,139 Not at all. 605 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:11,274 I'd like to take this home for my husband. 606 00:20:11,308 --> 00:20:14,844 He'll be glad you made me look so happy. 607 00:20:14,845 --> 00:20:16,913 I was trying to make him look serious. 608 00:20:16,914 --> 00:20:18,081 I still can't read him. 609 00:20:18,115 --> 00:20:20,817 - No one can. - I can. 610 00:20:20,818 --> 00:20:23,819 He likes it. 611 00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:26,356 Nice job, Boyle. 612 00:20:26,357 --> 00:20:28,057 - You nailed it. - Here. 613 00:20:28,058 --> 00:20:30,126 Of course he did. He's a great primary. 614 00:20:30,127 --> 00:20:32,462 And I'm sorry I was such a bad number two. 615 00:20:32,463 --> 00:20:33,997 I may, for the first time, 616 00:20:33,998 --> 00:20:34,998 have been a bit of a jerk, 617 00:20:35,032 --> 00:20:36,566 and I'm sorry. 618 00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:38,201 What a wonderful moment. 619 00:20:38,235 --> 00:20:40,403 I agree, it is a wonderful moment. 620 00:20:40,437 --> 00:20:41,604 What a wonderful moment. Rosa, do you agree? 621 00:20:41,605 --> 00:20:42,739 It's all right. It's all right. 622 00:20:42,773 --> 00:20:45,475 - ♪ Wonderful moment - ♪ Moment 623 00:20:45,476 --> 00:20:48,411 ♪ Between two guys 624 00:20:48,412 --> 00:20:50,713 Oh. 625 00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:52,315 D.A. wants to set bail for Patterson's wife. 626 00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:53,950 They need me to send them all the files. 627 00:20:53,984 --> 00:20:56,735 I'm the secondary. 628 00:20:56,736 --> 00:20:58,471 I'll go back there and do the busy work. 629 00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:00,306 You guys stay here and keep celebrating. 630 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:02,107 You sure you're not just sneaking off 631 00:21:02,108 --> 00:21:03,476 for more weird dead guy sex? 632 00:21:04,544 --> 00:21:06,412 We will never speak of that again. 633 00:21:06,413 --> 00:21:08,247 Never. 634 00:21:08,248 --> 00:21:09,648 Okay, bye. 635 00:21:09,649 --> 00:21:12,351 God. Crazy day, huh? 636 00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:13,919 I hate small talk. 637 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,120 Let's drink in silence. 638 00:21:15,121 --> 00:21:18,157 Perfect. 639 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:21,594 Sync and corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net